Waters and his cast in the cave they called home for over a month
Local Menace Still Not Trusted
Tuesday 26 May 2009
Having been out of jail for just over a month now, local man Philip Waters claims he is finding it hard to re-adjust to life on the outside, admitting yesterday that he feels, “people still haven’t forgiven me for kidnapping those kids.”
The 43 year old was sentenced just under two years ago for forcing a group of twelve year olds into a shot-for-shot remake of The Goonies, which has since won several acting awards for a cast that was predominantly made up of children from his local neighbourhood.
“I still don’t know what the judge’s problem was with that movie”, said Waters. “I was working with an amateur cast of kids and, quite frankly, I’d like to see him try and make a bunch of twelve year olds act that terrified.”
It was decided by a jury, however, that the children were not acting, and were in fact genuinely scared as to what Mr Waters would do to them if they failed to cooperate with him during the gruelling month-long shoot.
In one deleted scene that was played to the jury, twelve year old Aaron Jennings, who played Chunk, could be seen crying in front of the camera while attempting to tell a humorous story from the film about members of a cinema theatre ‘barfing’ over each other. However, it was pointed out by the prosecution that no discernable comic timing could be seen in the boy’s performance, and that it “looked like somebody was putting a gun to his head to make him say the lines”, a charge which Mr Waters still denies.
“I’m telling you”, said Waters, “these kids will all be big stars thanks to me. They’ve already been invited by Stephen Spielberg to attend numerous awards ceremonies, where they keep showing that clip from the end of the movie where the kids are finally reunited with their families, although for some reason they’ve added the scene where one of the dads attacks me with a baseball bat.”
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