Deluded
New Brochure Launches Exciting New Michael Owen Opportunity
Tuesday 16 June 2009
Fabio Capello and Sir Alex Ferguson were among the guests at St James’ Park today for the unveiling of what had been billed as an exciting new football opportunity, but which later turned out to be ‘an exciting new Michael Owen opportunity’ instead.
The former England striker was handing out brochures to some of the Premier League’s top managers in an effort to advertise the fact that he is now available on a free transfer. However, he managed to spend the entire morning recounting the story of how he had scored that goal against Argentina at the 98 World Cup to anyone who would listen, and failed to acknowledge the fact that the last four years of his career were accounted for in the brochure by drawings he appeared to have done himself.
It was also acknowledged by Owen’s management team that the loss of his devastating pace was one of the main reasons why clubs have decided to ignore his free transfer status, while some of the bemused managers in attendance claimed that it may also have something to do with his ridiculous wage demands, and the fact that he doesn’t actually play football anymore.
“I’ve been trying to explain to him all day that his goal against Argentina in 1998 was very nice”, said England boss Fabio Capello, “but he has not played regular football for four years, and there are other, more deserving players out there who can play in his position, but he just stares back at me looking confused, and starts flicking through the photographs in this brochure which all seem to be of him scoring that one goal. Oh God, I think he’s coming over here again. This is intolerable.”
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
