http://www.thedailyliar.com The Daily Liar - The UK's #1 Tabloid News Source http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-ken_clarke_to_go_on_slut_walk http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-ken_clarke_to_go_on_slut_walk Mr Clarke could never be accused of being ‘in touch’ with a society that does not use oil lamps http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-downing_street_to_employ_pussy http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-downing_street_to_employ_pussy Liberal Democrat Leader Nick Clegg’s job will basically be to just sit around all day doing nothing, except making sure that the rat does not get into Downing Street http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-geoff_hoon_dissatisfied_with_party_leadership http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-geoff_hoon_dissatisfied_with_party_leadership “I lost confidence in Marianne’s ability as a hostess last night”, said Mr Hoon, "as it was clear that the party had little or no direction." http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-george_bush_great_american_novel http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-george_bush_great_american_novel Following his eight year stint as leader of the free world, former President George W Bush has reportedly been working feverishly at his desk in the study of his new home in Dallas, Texas, in order to finish work on his highly anticipated first novel. http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-how_now_browns_owl http://www.thedailyliar.com/politics-how_now_browns_owl Gordon Brown hired a new personal advisor this week in an attempt to reverse his declining popularity with voters, enlisting the services of an intimidatingly wise looking old barn owl called 'Thatcher'. http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-ashley_cole_judge_me_by_my_actions http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-ashley_cole_judge_me_by_my_actions “Forget about the time when I shot a youth experience student with an air rifle. It’s not even loaded when I brandish it at people anymore" http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-lieutenant_harris_was_right http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-lieutenant_harris_was_right Police Academy instructor claims he warned about the potential for disaster "years ago", before the tragic death of a child under Officer Mahoney's care at the weekend. http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-cliff_richard_attempts_to_sabotage_wimbledon_roof http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-cliff_richard_attempts_to_sabotage_wimbledon_roof A terrified Sue Barker had to be escorted by police from the BBC’s studio at Wimbledon today, after a frantic and drooling Sir Cliff Richard tried to gain access to the room she was working in through the air vents. http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-britney_arrested_at_jackson_memorial http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-britney_arrested_at_jackson_memorial Miss Spears has now been arrested at two high profile memorial services in as many weeks. http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-damon_albarn_trapped_up_his_own_ass http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-damon_albarn_trapped_up_his_own_ass There is no word yet on how the delicate operation to remove the musician from his own arse is progressing, but it doesn't look good. http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-deal_or_no_deal_one_long_suicide_note http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-deal_or_no_deal_one_long_suicide_note It is common knowledge amongst those behind the scenes at Deal or No Deal that there has not been anyone on the other end of the phone since 2007 http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-bin_laden_porn_collection http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-bin_laden_porn_collection “I mean, he had Shaving Ryan’s Privates”, said the anonymous source, “but there was no sign of, say, E.T. the Sextraterrestrial, or Daddy Gay Care.” http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-bin_ladens_last_diary_entries http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-bin_ladens_last_diary_entries The last diary entries of Osama bin Laden. http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-godzilla_makes_matters_worse http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-godzilla_makes_matters_worse People are in shock at the sheer scale of destruction wrought by Japan’s most popular, and inherently stupid, travesty of nature. http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-gaddafi_claims_he_is_winning http://www.thedailyliar.com/world-gaddafi_claims_he_is_winning I’ve got camel blood in my veins, and neither you nor anyone else is in any position to prove otherwise!” http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-katie_price_has_mental_breakdown http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-katie_price_has_mental_breakdown Alex Reid is at her bedside doing squat-thrusts in a sexually suggestive manner, while Price screams at the mentally impotent sex-hulk to bring her vegemite on toast. http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-blatters_dream_to_hold_2018_world_cup_underwater http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-blatters_dream_to_hold_2018_world_cup_underwater “Football is for everyone”, said Mr Blatter, “even water dwelling creatures like seahorses, and fish. Oh and those ones with the horn that look like unicorns. Ha-ha, I love those. They are just so random." http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-susan_boyle_to_perform_at_the_brits http://www.thedailyliar.com/entertainment-susan_boyle_to_perform_at_the_brits Susan Boyle will be performing at this year’s Brit awards ceremony, amid rumours that she is set to be joined on stage by dozens of confused cats in a huge musical number. http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-benitez_set_to_field_team_of_carraghers http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-benitez_set_to_field_team_of_carraghers "We will play a 1-3-2 system", said Benitez, "with the Super Carragher playing at the back and flattening all those who dare to cross its path." http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-ricky_hatton_to_use_new_tactics_for_marquez_fight http://www.thedailyliar.com/sport-ricky_hatton_to_use_new_tactics_for_marquez_fight “The plan is simple”, said Hatton, “I plan to hit him in the head continuously until I am finally recognised as one of the all-time greats"