Idiot
George W Bush To Pen Great American Novel
Sunday 5 July 2009
Following his eight year stint as leader of the free world, former President George W Bush has reportedly been working feverishly at his desk in the study of his new home in Dallas, Texas, in order to finish work on his highly anticipated first novel.
“He’s had the idea for a while now”, said Bush’s former press secretary Dana Perino. “It was all he talked about during his last three years in office, and I really think people are going to be shocked at his writing ability.”
Persistent rumours in Washington suggest that the plot of Mr Bush’s novel, which apparently has the working title of Hot Juice, involves several characters which are based on real people, a fact which is sure to cause controversy should the former President find someone willing to publish his masterwork.
“A cleaner he showed it to who worked at the White House told me that a couple of the main characters in the book could cause real offence to the people they are based on”, said Perino. “One character in particular called Rick Laney is a real piece of work, in the novel. He’s an incredible hypocrite with far too much power who hunts unarmed old men for sport, in the novel. I just hope George knows what he could be getting himself into if he goes ahead and publishes this book.”
Mr Perino also commented that he had no clues as to what Mr Bush’s ideas on literary technique or narrative structure were, but that the story’s hero was bound to create a favourable response from the public.
“He’s real excited about what this book could do for the hero’s public image”, said Mr Perino. “He’s got all the elements needed to be one of history’s most popular characters, akin to a Falstaff or a Frasier.”
Mr Bush was unavailable for comment, but was understood to be shooting cans in his back yard before tackling what publishers hope will be an American classic, while critics have praised the former President for seamlessly making the transition from national disgrace to private humiliation.
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