Jerk Sauce

Brown Burned By Dragons

Saturday 30 May 2009

In what was seen by many as his last chance to add some stability to the floundering British economy, Gordon Brown walked away from the 'Dragons Den' today empty handed and in tears.

After a brief but passionate speech which failed to convince any of the five 'Dragons' that there was a cohesive business model in place, it was left to long term den member Theo Paphitis to speak for everyone when he described the Prime Minister’s pitch as "baffling" and "sweaty”.

Comments from the other Dragons ranged from the sympathetic to outright scorn as Brown, even with the help of current Chancellor Alistair Darling, twice managed to muddle his figures, and with his tie half undone and tears forming in his eyes, cemented his failure by subjecting the den to the uncomfortable sight of seeing him beg for money.

There has so far been no comment from Number 10 with regard to the rumour that Mr Darling later had to be restrained by production staff after having made a spur of the moment decision to try and grab the pile of cash sitting next to Deborah Meaden, although an insider has reportedly admitted to hearing the Chancellor repeatedly muttering, "Oh you little teaser", whilst licking his lips and rubbing his hands together.

This debacle only seems to have confirmed that the British economy is now seen as less of an investment opportunity than Levi Roots' Reggae Reggae Sauce, and Mr Brown is now reported to be be preparing his CV in order to apply for the next series of The Apprentice, which starts next year after the election.

The Daily Liar

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