Punk'd

Demi Moore Punk'd By 'Husband'

Sunday 31 May 2009

American actress Demi Moore was said to be devastated yesterday after it was revealed that her marriage to Ashton Kutcher was in fact a ludicrously drawn out episode of his hit MTV show Punk'd.

Moore, 46, hasn’t been seen since the news broke, although Rumour persists that since the revelation she has trapped herself in her bedroom and is watching The Butterfly Effect over and over. Rumour also told reporters that the weeping she could hear is most likely related to the actions of Mr Kutcher, and not to his movie.

The couple’s three and a half year marriage is now in the process of being edited down to a 15 minute slot for the fall season premiere of Kutcher’s show, and he is currently in the studio adding a selection of interchangeable high pitched sassy comments and faux horrified emotional responses.

Moore, who had previously suspected something was wrong when her husband kept winking at seemingly inanimate objects, was finally hit with the bombshell on Sunday night as she returned to the couple’s million dollar home. She was greeted by a beautiful scene that included candles, expensive food, and a full orchestra, before Mr Kutcher suddenly flashed on all the lights and screamed hysterically for Moore to look into the chandelier, as she had just been Punk'd.

At first a confused Moore didn’t understand what was happening, but when Bruce Willis came in laughing from the patio and high-fived Kutcher, who looked at her and said, “Boom!”, it began to dawn on her that her four year marriage to the young actor may have been a practical joke. It is at this point that the ambulance is said to have been called, although that ending will be replaced in the episode by old stock footage of Moore looking happy.

Nicholas Davies-Marshall

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